We sang as Faith family this Sunday, Through it All.
Behind the lyrics on the screen- ocean waves rolled. It seems to me that we often compare the struggles of this life to the ocean blue. Something that can give such peace and refreshment, often represents that which makes us feel defeated by life.
We refer to blue. Things get dark. We have waves of pain.
Storms of trouble. We crash. We sink into our desperation.
It’s no surprise to me that we compare these. When you consider the lyrics of the song by Kristene DiMarco, and the story behind Horatio Spafford’s hymn It is Well, (which is integrated into the chorus) we can feel the chill of its history. Blame the waves for what they’ve taken. Be defeated by this tragedy and go down with the ship.
I can’t speak to trouble. My life is as spectacular as my lawn. Not maintained by me and perfected each day.
But as always – I think of my baby. She may be troubled. I pray that she isn’t. I pray for her safety every day. For her health. For her security. For her soul. For her spirit. But I am not naive to what we may be inviting into our lives. As we pursue this adoption – we may have children who struggle to love us. Who struggle to be known. Who ache to be loved, but the loving itself causes them pain.
My mind wondered as I considered these lyrics. What of her now? Is today her birthday? Has someone harmed her today? Has she been hugged and kissed and cuddled today? How many meals has she had? Where is she? How long until she is home?
It became real to me, if only in a small way – I must remember the true calling on my life. To love and serve the Lord God. To release even her to him. When she struggles, if she lacks in faith, when she grows, if she’s bullied. Unhealthy. Defiant. Disrespectful. Falling away. She is his. All his. Every moment. I have to give every moment. And it will be my calling in those moments – to refrain from blaming. To cling to and not deny my Maker. To be vulnerable, even with my children.
Oh Dear God – please give me the strength to be who you have called me to be. As the waves crash, the storms blow, as calamity overtakes me, if that which I hold so close slips just out of reach, may it be well with my soul.
May my eyes be on you.
Blessed are those who trust in the LORD and have made the LORD their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by the long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they go right on producing delicious fruit. Jeremiah 17:7-8