A Nutshell

We were ready for something more this summer. We were ready for something missional, something international, something orphan care related.

My thumb grazed a P143 add on Facebook. I really didn’t know what I was clicking on. But, curious to see the faces of little ones waiting to be hosted, I registered to check out the photo listing.

I found them. The little one was full of spunk – with her arms above her head and smirk on her face. I smiled back at her picture. And our older one – she was sweet and sincere. She was the kind of beautiful you could only find in a beautiful soul. Maybe we could host them.

I put their bios in front of my husband.

“What do you think about hosting these sisters this summer? 8 and 16 – one for each of us!” He glanced at their pics, he read there bios, he looked at me and said
“Yea sure! Lets do it.”

A breath later he said “Why don’t we just adopt them?”

For all my trying I couldn’t think of a reason not to. They were incredible; we could tell.

3 months later our girls arrived. They were quiet and exhausted. They were nervous and hungry. They were anxious and curious. And they were ours.

When we did this, I knew we were doing something good. I knew we would love them easily. I knew they would love us. But I had no idea how much fun this would be. I had no idea that my daughters would be so incredible.

They laughed with us, they teased us, they yearned for our affection. They wanted to be involved in everything we did. And we encouraged them to be. We baked and cooked together. We played soccer and swam together. We went boating, we skipped rocks, we danced in the living room and splashed down the creek. We ate ice cream and had picnics. We went to the ocean, we saw a lighthouse. We went on a roller coaster, we learned how to bike. We took pictures. Lots and lots of pictures. We were a family. Totally, completely and fully.

The Lord has been so good to us. He guided us to our girls. He crafted us just for them. I am desperately grateful that this is the path He chose for us.

They are silly and wise. Quirky and loving. Smart and adventurous. They are artistic and athletic. They are brave and worthy.

In all our years of youth ministry, I’m all our experiences with kids and teens alike, I could not have ever met two children who I am more proud to know and love. And to someday – in a very real way call our daughters.


Everything I miss…

Everything I miss about my little big one.

I miss her silliness. She had the perfect amount of reserve mixed with ridiculousness. She had a smart and extreme sense of humor. She wasn’t afraid to be goofy for a laugh.

I miss her perception. She was extremely aware and wise of what was going on around her; the tension or temperature of the room, what others needed from the situation.

I miss her affection. She was proud to call us Mama and Papa and she let her guard down often when her sister wasn’t around. She longed to be hugged and kissed and included. She longed to be valued.

I miss the fact that she was proud we are her parents. She made that clear. She told us we were “BeA-Utiful” all the time. She consistently said “My Mama, my Papa beA-Utiful!”

I miss our relationship – we attached right away – but we were really starting to go deeper about a week before she had to leave. She was trusting me, with “mom” things. And I wanted nothing more then to be trusted by her.

I miss her servant heart. From carrying in groceries to washing off her dinner dishes, she knew there was a lot to do to take care of her home. She wanted to be a part of it. It is after all her home.

I miss the fact that I couldn’t spoon sugar into my coffee or flour into a mixing bowl with our her wanting to be involved. I miss that she always looked for opportunities to be close to me.

I miss her compassion. I’ll never forget – this kid who comes from nothing, looking at pictures of our mission trip to South Africa with tears in her eyes begging us to take her their some day. “I want to help these children.”

I miss her laughter. I miss her wisdom. I miss her affection. I miss her hunger for adventure. I miss her selflessness. I miss her curiosity. I miss her willingness to try new things. I miss her humor. I miss her ability to lead. I miss her joy for entertaining. I miss her love for activity. I miss her desire to be with us. I miss being her mom.

I miss treating her to Starbucks. I miss shopping for the perfect T-shirt. I miss watching her scale rock climbing walls. I miss kissing her goodnight. I miss having her cousin sleep over. I miss looking out on the meadow and watching her play. I miss the way she loved her Pop-pop. I miss watching her cuddle her younger cousins. I miss watching her play soccer with her family. I miss walking by her room and over hearing her chat in broke english with her friends.

I miss looking at her and thinking “She is everything I could ever want in a daughter. Why has God blessed us with her?”

I miss everything I know about her and everything I don’t.

We have a huge gap in our family. We will until you come home.

You are missed. You are greatly greatly missed.